What do you do when your dream job isn’t as dreamy as you had hoped?
If you’re a full-time piano teacher, I’m sure you can think back to a time when all you could think about is escaping your 9-5 to pursue a more fulfilling career with the flexibility to spend time with your family and financial success to retire.
Have you achieved what you worked so hard for only to find you have some major complaints?
Do you feel guilty for not appreciating the life you’ve built?
Does your career look fulfilling on the outside but feel stressed on the inside?
Have you ever thought, “This isn’t what I thought it would be?”
If any of these statements resonate with you, in this article I’m going to talk through some reasons we feel this way as pianopreneurs and what we can DO about it…TODAY!
The Reality of Achieving a Dream
Listen, Teacher Friend, I want you to know that you are not alone!
If piano teacher-ing doesn’t feel as fulfilling or peaceful or glamorous or profitable or freeing as you thought it would–I’ve been there!
It’s Okay to Be Where You Are
Realize that it’s okay to be where you are today.
It’s okay to feel the way you feel.
And you’re not a bad person or a failure for not waking up every day whistling a merry tune as a piano teacher.
Validate any feelings that have come up while reading this article. Name them. Accept them. Whether you understand them or not. Acknowledge that those feelings exist. And whether we feel them tomorrow or not, we can accept that they are okay to feel for this moment.
Today Doesn’t Equal Every Day
The first step to accepting what you can’t change and stepping forward into what you can change is accepting this core truth:
The reality of “today” does not equal the reality of “every day” for the rest of my life.
Perhaps you’ve encountered the idea of impermanence in reading about spirituality or mindfulness.
No matter what your career path, there will inevitably be days that don’t feel great. Days where you want to go back to where you were in a previous chapter. Or jump ahead to a future chapter. Or just quit or escape altogether.
It’s no reason to panic!
It happens to everyone regardless of their place in life. And it’s completely okay that it’s happening to you on certain days.
A favorite mantra I like to bring up on days I feel like quitting is: “Maybe tomorrow will be better.” It feels accessible to me even on the toughest of days, because it’s just a “maybe.” It’s believable.
Always On to the Next Goal
Another thing you may want to consider as a high-achieving person is that there is a tangible letdown once you reach a goal.
If you’re like me, it’s always on to the next thing.
I can see every little thing in my life that I want to change, to remove, to replace, to improve. I could nitpick and complain all day!
But if I truly think back, I’ve come a long way.
I used to dream of a home instead of an apartment. “It’ll be easier to teach lessons when I have the whole place to myself.” And it is!
I used to dream of quitting my boring office job. “I’ll get to be creative every day and create my own schedule.” And I am, and I do!
I used to dream of being able to charge a higher fee per hour. “Someday I’ll make $__,____.” And I do, and it’s great!
Sure, I’ve got some big goals for the future and I am laser-focused on achieving those next goals, but there’s no reason I shouldn’t stop halfway up the mountain to enjoy the view and ponder the long, winding trail I’ve ascended on the way to where I am today.
Could you take a moment to come up with 3-5 things you used to dream of that you now have in your life?
Reality Dulls the Shimmer
And another thing to consider is the fact that lifestyle upgrades look perfect until you reach them.
Remember when you were a teenager and you couldn’t wait to get out from under your parents’ roof? But trying to juggle everything that came up and all of your bills in your early 20’s was probably a shock.
Remember when you dreamed of moving out of your college studio apartment and buy your very own home? And now you dread the rising tax bill and wonder how much that replacement water heater is going to cost.
Living the pianopreneurial lifestyle seems glamorous until you try it day in and day out for a while. Owning your own business can be more work and less money than most would imagine! Sometimes you have technology failures. Sometimes you get angry emails. Sometimes you get sick.
It can be hard to accept where you are (even if you are living your younger self’s dream) when it doesn’t feel as free and fun as you had hoped.
Becoming Your Own Bad Boss
Have you heard the quip “trading the 9-5 for the 24/7”? As glamourized as the entrepreneurial lifestyle is these days, it’s no surprise we are surprised to find out it’s a lot more work than we were expecting.
Because you have complete control over your business and your schedule, you can slip into the trap of working all the time.
Without realizing it, you can become your own worse boss!
Questions to consider:
Back up a moment and think about how the life you’ve created is shaping up.
- Have you backed yourself into a corner of overworking?
- Have you locked yourself into a 7-day-a-week schedule?
- Do you overwork because you think you should? Or because you think you have to?
- If you could rewrite your position, task list, schedule, etc, how would you write it?
- If you were your boss (and a benevolent boss), how would you suggest changes to better support your mental health and make you a better person and employee?
Finding Peace Today
There was a time when I woke up and realized I didn’t love being a piano teacher. It was getting old. It wasn’t as profitable as I thought it would be. My schedule was too full. I was getting burnt out.
But the most discouraging part was that I had achieved my previous dream life and hated it.
What do you do when you hate your dream life??
Getting Honest About What You Want
The thing is–I didn’t hate being a piano teacher. I didn’t hate my life.
I just had some aspects of my current situation that I wanted to change.
Rather than throwing out the baby with the bath water, it’s time to get real about what you want in life.
Here’s an exercises that will help get you thinking in the right way:
- Divide a piece of paper into two columns labeled “LIKE” and “DISLIKE.”
- Start listing aspects of your life. Small details. Big foundational facts. Everything in between. List things like: “Teach til 9:00pm on Thursdays” or “Have to get up at 8:00am on Saturdays” in your DISKLIKE column. And list things like: “Quiet cup of tea on the patio every morning at 9:00am” or “My weekly lesson with Sally” in your LIKE column. And keep going. And then keep going. And then add another page and keep going.
- Go through your DISLIKES and circle the ones that could potentially change in the future. Circle anything you could change today. Circle parts of your life that would take a long time and lots of effort or forethought to change (but they COULD potentially change).
As you look over your list and continue to add to it, ask yourself…
What are you doing because you think you have to?
What are you living with because it’s what you think you should?
If all rules were thrown out, what would YOU CHOOSE?
Great! Now you’ve got a starting point.
Now you know whether it’s your career or your big life choices or your schedule or your income or your home or whatever that is the root of your current dissatisfaction.
What We Can’t Change
Part of what really changed things around for me, was when I realized that my life isn’t ever 100% good or 100% bad.
On any given day, any given week, any given year, there are wonderful aspects and there are unfortunate aspects.
I realized that if I let the not-so-good things ruin the great things, I’d NEVER BE HAPPY.
So, look at that list you made.
- See how it’s not all bad?
- See how there are moments of beauty in your life?
- See how there are valuable things you’ve wished for and received in the past years?
Good. I’m glad you can see it now! I can, too! And what that means for us is–we can accept some not-so-great aspects to appreciate the wonderful aspects.
Those DISLIKES you didn’t circle? How about we just accept them? Or make them a less prominent part of our day? Or just dwell on them less? Can we let them go just a little bit?
Because (and this is the best part) there are things we CAN change! And that’s where we’re going next!
What We Can Change
Now make a separate list of DISLIKES that you circled (the ones you can change either now or later).
Let’s put them in order from smallest to biggest. Or from the “right now”s to the “maybe someday”s.
I bet there is one thing on there that you can literally eliminate, replace, or change for the better THIS WEEK.
And then there will be some things that feel nearly impossible to change.
But if you can take one little step towards that change…likely your whole perspective will change!
And THAT’S WHERE I FELT THE DIFFERENCE!!
For me, I discovered that I was stressed out not by my entire teaching schedule but by one night of teaching in particular that had me arriving to the school pick-up line early in hopes of being first in line so I could rush home, rush my kiddo to gymnastics in between lessons, and then rushing to pick her up late at the end of my last lesson.
As I shifted those few students onto a different day (gradually over a few months), I felt my schedule fall into place. I no longer dreaded that one particular stressful day and life got a little more peaceful!
That is an example of a medium-sized change. It couldn’t be changed overnight, but it didn’t take years of small actions to accomplish either.
So, get to work and organize your list!
Daily Moments
Now keep your list or lists in a handy spot so you can remind yourself daily that Today is not perfect, but there are good things to savor.
You know what I learned from my list (once I let my list get long enough for my brain to empty of the surfacey stuff)?
I learned that there are SIMPLE, daily things that I really, really value! This realization was life-changing because I could start squeezing them into my busy days immediately. And the change in mindset and perspective was also immediate!
I learned that I value a beautiful spot outside to spend a peaceful moment. Yeah, I know! Stupid simple. I used to think, “Ugh, I hate this house. I can’t wait to move.” And I’d also think, “I do not like this schedule. I need to quit and start all over again so I can find a peaceful routine.”
And what fixed both of those skewed negative thoughts?! The simple act of creating a beautiful little space outside where I could take my lunch break or my morning tea. It made me like my house just a little bit more. And it also made me like my daily routine a little bit more too!
So simple. Yet so revolutionary.
And I know it’s nothing new, but taking a moment of gratitude at the end of the day can be life-changing as well. Speak out loud three things you are grateful for as you crawl into bed to foster an end-of-day mindset of gratitude
Making a Plan for Change
While we’re going to introduce more daily gratitude into our lives with this list, let’s not sit on our hands and wait for peace to find us!
You CAN build the beautiful life you desire.
So write out a plan using your list of changeable dislikes. Some will require only a one-time action. Others will take years to accomplish and will require a million spread out actions.
But, make a PLAN!
What’s Your Dream?
Let me know in the comments what your dream life looks like! If ten readers share their dream, I’ll share mine, too. 😉