Maybe it’s the introvert in me, but no matter how many first lessons I’ve taught over the years, I still feel nervous going into a first lesson with a new student. If you have butterflies in your stomach the week before a scheduled first lesson, know that you are not alone!
This nervous feeling is amplified with a transfer student because of the unknown…
- What do they already know? And what don’t they know?
- What books are they going to bring? Or worse, what if they forget to bring any books?
- Why did they quit lessons with their previous teacher?
- What if their previous teacher was a more accomplished player or teacher than me?
- Will the parents have certain expectations of me or of the lessons?
- What if we run out of things to talk about at the first lesson?
It’s okay, Teacher! We’re going to get you as prepared as you can be for that first lesson.
What ISN’T Your Mission?
First of all, let’s talk about what is not on the agenda for a first lesson with a transfer student. Hopefully scratching these things off of your list of expectations will bring a sigh of relief for both you, the teacher, and for the student.
Correct
You are not there to correct at the first lesson. There will be plenty of time for fixing mistakes and correcting technique later on in the lessons. That should not be on the agenda at the first lesson. Just let those F naturals slide right on by.
Why no correction?
The reason is simple. The student is likely just as nervous as you for this first meet-up. The last thing you want for them is to leave the first lesson feeling self-conscious about any mistakes, especially if they’ve formed some bad habits. Let those go for now, dear teacher. Mental note to self for later and move on.
Criticize
Never, I repeat, never criticize a student for anything they say or do at the first lesson with you. Additionally, never criticize any aspects of their previous lesson experience. Do not criticize how their last teacher did things, even if they have expressed dislike for their former teacher. It is not your place to downtalk others in this situation.
Why no criticism?
They are feeling vulnerable playing for a new teacher and they could potentially shut down if they sense they have not impressed you. They could also take criticism of their previous teacher personally and potentially feel bad about their set-backs.
Implement
Observe. Plan. Formulate. But do not implement at the first lesson. What do I mean by this?
Let’s say a transfer piano student comes to you with terrible posture. I mean they are sitting way too close to the keys, hunched over, and playing with their little T-rex arms.
Observe this habit. Plan to work on this aspect of their technique in the future. Have a mini-brainstorm session in your head on ways you could help them with this in a positive way (i.e. play a game at a future lesson that helps them gauge how far away from the keys they should be). But keep these thoughts in your head.
Do not fix. Do not point out. Keep it super positive and encouraging for this first lesson.
Why no implementation?
Humans focus on any negative feedback we get. It’s just the way we’re wired. You could say 99 positive and encouraging things at that first lesson, but mention that horrible posture and that is all that student will remember. There will be plenty of time to fix later on. Good vibes only at the first lesson!
What IS Your Mission?
Okay, we’ve covered what not to focus on. We want to avoid correcting, criticizing, and implementing at the first lesson.
So what is our mission at the first lesson?
Welcome
Welcome that new student into your studio. They should leave that first encounter feeling like they are a part of it all. They should feel comfortable within minutes of arriving. They should feel excited to come back next week as they wave goodbye at the end of the lesson.
How do we accomplish a welcoming environment?
Think about the last time you went somewhere for the first time. Maybe it was a new coffee shop to meet a friend outside of your usual neighborhood. Perhaps you visited someone’s house for the first time. Or a new dentist’s office.
How did you feel when you left? If you left feeling welcomed into that space, what specific aspects of the experience led you to feel that way? Was there a warm barista who greeted you upon arrival? Were you offered the chance to get comfortable in a cozy chair? Or offered a drink of water?
Or did you leave feeling out of place? And if so, what led you to feel this way? Did something feel awkward, such as not knowing which door to enter? Did you feel like you were inconveniencing a server? Or you didn’t know where to place your coat?
Make an extra effort to make the first visit to your studio a welcoming one!
Here are some ideas to get you started brainstorming:
- Make sure parents know where to park, where to come in, and generally how to arrive
- Be ready to greet a new family (even if they arrive early)
- Strive for a warm and welcoming greeting
- Offer to take coats or explain where students can hang them
- Explain shoe or other studio policies so students feel like they are entering your space “the right way”
- Offer parents a place to sit and offer students the piano bench (I know it’s obvious, but often students feel awkward going straight to the bench until invited)
- Let parents know they can stay if they’d like
- Other ideas I missed? List them in the comments!
Connect
It may be tempting to get right down to business. After all, we charge a premium and we want families to feel like they are getting their money’s worth. But connection is so important. It is worth the time, especially at the first lesson.
How do we accomplish a connection?
Find a connection with the student before getting started with the actual lesson. You’ll know you’ve established a connection when the student’s facial expression or body language changes.
A connection does not have to be music- or piano-related! Literally whatever gets the student to open up just a little bit is first-lesson-approved!
Here are some ideas of conversation starters for a first lesson:
- Have you seen the newest blockbuster animated film?
- Do you have any pets?
- Do you have a favorite video game?
- Are you in any sports? Choir? Band? Any other extra-curricular activities?
- Do you have a favorite song or artist?
The list is infinite as you and the student could have any number of similarities or common topics you both care about. If you have kids around the same age, you have a huge advantage, so use it!
Listen
In every way, in every moment, you, the teacher, are listening at the first lesson.
While we’re not correcting, criticizing, or implementing at this lesson, we are observing every little thing.
Listen to Words
Listen to everything the student manages to say (whether they are chatty or super introverted). Make sure they are given just the right amount of space and opportunity to speak without feeling called out or awkward.
Listen to Notes
Listen closely to how the student interacts with their current books and assigned songs. They may not have clear thoughts about their past learning path trajectory that they can tell you in words.
Very few students will bound into the first lesson declaring, “My last teacher assigned me pieces that were way too easy for me. I got bored. I stopped practicing. I need you to find a better curriculum and help me with my posture.” Wouldn’t that be nice!
The truth is, you may need to carefully observe every nuance in that first lesson. Look for signs of struggles, frustrations, special abilities, bad habits, not be challenged enough or being assigned songs that are way too hard.
Listen to Parents
Observe the parents as well.
Most obviously, what do they say before, during, and after the lesson that could give you some clues about the student’s past musical experiences, current practice habits, and future goals and needs.
Some parents may hint at signs of learning disabilities but may not have a label for it. Pay attention for any clues you can use to serve the student the best you can from Day One.
You can also get a sense for how much a parent has been or will be involved in the lessons and practice routines.
Listen to Non-Verbal Cues
Okay, this isn’t really an act of listening, but usually an observation made with the eyes. But, watch for any signs of the above clues that don’t come through words or playing notes, but rather just in facial expressions, body language, or silence.
Spark
And, finally, before the student leaves their first lesson with you, make sure you spark something in them!
The trickiest thing about this one is that you won’t know what will spark interest in a particular student until you meet them.
You can guess what might light them up by learning all you can before the first lesson, but it’s the interaction at the first lesson that will have to be the final clue.
Here are some examples of something you can offer the student that will spark their interest and get them excited to return next week:
- A brand new piece of sheet music right at their level that you’ve “picked out just for them”
- A brand new method book to try out for a week with “more fun songs they might enjoy”
- An improvisation or rote assignment (fun, easy, and easy enough to remember when they get home)
- A short composition started in the lesson that they can work on at home
- A practice or scale chart they are motivated to complete for a prize
- A piano progress chart that acknowledges the levels they’ve already completed
- A sticker sheet, fun post-its to mark the pages, or piano learning prop they get to keep (my favorite gift for younger kids is a set of dice)
- An ear assignment like “figure out the rest of this melody from your favorite video game theme”
- A shiny, new practice record book can even do the trick
The main thing is that you see that spark in the student’s eye before they leave. You know you’ve won their heart just a little bit! And that’s the best feeling in the world.
My favorite moment from a seven-year-old transfer student’s first lesson. He told me right before he left, “You’re my new favorite piano teacher…and my last teacher gave me candy!”
When It Doesn’t Go So Well
If the student leaves the first lesson and you’re not feeling that high, it’s okay. I’ve been there, too.
Either you have no idea whether the first lesson went well or not, or you might have accidentally slipped into correction mode or said something slightly negative about the method book or previous teacher.
The good news is, first impressions are important, but they are not EVERYTHING. That student will likely be back next week, and the week after. And you’ll have many more opportunities for connection!
Do THIS Before the First Lesson!
Before you ever meet your transfer student, ask all the questions!
You will automatically feel more prepared going into the first lesson by simply asking the right questions!
You may even be able to really plan some activities, order some books or sheet music or props based on the student’s background.
Here are some example questions (beyond the usual “How old is the student?”) that can be asked by email or on the phone before the first lesson:
- Who was the previous teacher?
- What made you decide to seek out another teacher?
- What does [student name] really enjoy about piano lessons?
- What parts of piano lessons do they not enjoy?
- Does [student name] like to practice at home? Or do they need a little encouragement?
- What books or songs are they currently working on? Are they enjoying them?
- What songs would they be willing to play for me at the first lesson?
- Is there any particular goals or types of music [student’s name] would like to do?
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